No BUTS about it!

I was preparing for a trip and needed to get a little extra cash so I stopped in at my bank. (I know - I could access a machine - but I like talking with the people in the bank more). I was greeted at the door by my former tennis instructor, who works there now. I took a set of group lessons for a few weeks through the community education program many many years ago. It was fun, and I have been a casual player over the years, even before my lessons. I walked up to the teller and my tennis instructor joined me. "She is a tennis player" she said to the teller. I almost said "not really" out loud but stopped myself. "Well, I do play tennis", I thought. "And I don't have to be great to be a player, right? So, I guess I AM a tennis player, yes I am!!"

And it made me think of other situations. My girl friend and I were paired up with another couple on the golf course a while ago. The woman in the pair called herself a golfer but she didn't keep score and she picked up her ball half the time without finishing the hole. But she IS a golfer.

I tell people in my yoga class that as long as they are breathing they are still doing yoga, so they ARE yogis! You don't have to be great at something to do it or be it. 

How many times do we discount what we are doing or being with that "I am, BUT!"?

Own what you do and are and enjoy! No BUTS about it!

Habits Can Be Fun

What kinds of habits do you have?  I notice in the gym in my yoga and cycle classes that people have their favorite spots.  There are those that put their mats in the front or back corners of the room or the brave ones that always scoot theirs right up next to mine.  I have even witnessed a not so pleasant interaction when a newbie plopped their mat down in a veteran's favorite spot. Fortunately I haven't had to intervene to protect lives - yet!  In cycle class there are those who sit on the same bike every time them come to class.  I know that I too had my favorite spot when I used to take a step aerobics class. I would always place my bench to the left of the instructor a few rows back. It just made sense for the view - to see what they were doing and to be able to follow along more easily.  

We tend to have habits in a variety of areas in our lives: a morning habit of reading the paper, showering and dressing that never varies, the path we drive to work, our nightly relaxation patterns, the things we eat and the places we go for entertainment.  Over time we develop our favorites and don't stray very much once they are set.

When someone says "habits" do you typically think of something pleasant or unpleasant? Do you know that the most effective successful people have daily habits? You've probably heard of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Starting with the end in mind, seek first to understand, and be proactive are some of them. But what habits do you need to start doing and what habits do you need to stop doing to be more effective? Are you taking time to relax and really let your mind wander like in the hammock picture above? Starting the day with some quiet time instead of jumping onto your phone to check texts or e-mails of Facebook may be the one thing you could do that would change your world for the better.

Habits can be fun too. I've made golf one of mine. I invite you to play with the topic considering what is currently working for you and what is not. Decide on just a few new habits and try one on at a time. See where it goes and how much better life is overall because of your new commitment.

What will you start today?

All You Can Eat Buffet

There used to be a restaurant here in town called The Boston Sea Party. It was an all you can eat buffet. There was a soup and salad bar, a main course buffet and a dessert bar. If that wasn't enough, an entree was part of the deal. Usually by the time your entree came you were already stuffed, but as young professionals we were up to the challenge and did it all. As you left the restaurant, there was a basket of apples. You were encouraged to take one. We playfully put it near our mouths to imitate the stuffed pig. That is one place you couldn't go to very often without having to adjust up your pant size every time you did.

This morning in yoga I welcomed everyone, especially the new people. I encouraged them to treat class like an all you can eat buffet. I let them know they didn't have to "eat everything"! They could take a little bit of this and a little bit of that - whatever worked for them. When they needed to take a break they were welcome to do that. (Haven't you done that at an all you can eat buffet, rested for a little bit while getting ready to attack the buffet line again?!). If they approached class like that, they were more apt to go away satisfied instead of overwhelmed.

Remember in anything you approach in life, sample it and work with what you need. Don't try to do it all or take it all if it is going to leave you overwhelmed. 

A Way with Words

                 Words - aren't they interesting?

A few years ago I volunteered for the nearby city's community education program and offered to teach a stress and de-stress workshop. The first half of the class was an hour examining the stressors in our lives and offered tips and techniques to work with them. The second half was an hour of yoga for all levels. A paragraph describing the workshop was included in the Community Education brochure and sent out to all of members of the area. Centered was a word I used in the description to describe what people would get out of the event and how they would feel. I was surprised at the reaction from one of my friend's friends that received the notice. She was very upset and concerned by my use of the word "centered". To her yoga was a religious practice and the word centered meant something connected to some spiritual practice that concerned her.  

The truth is, by centered I meant stress free, balanced and enjoying your life. Once she heard my take on the term, she relaxed about my offering.

There was a recent protest along with debates regarding the sculpture of the Ten Commandments on the Capitol grounds in Oklahoma. Those against won the battle and the Ten Commandments were removed. By changing one word - "religious" to "art" or to "history" in reference to the sculpture, the Ten Commandments might still be standing on the Capitol grounds of Oklahoma. 

I recently submitted a training proposal to a major corporation on Busting Assumptions - and being creative and courageous. They wanted a workshop to inspire the sales people and I have the tools to make that happen. When going through the details of the workshop with the director, I explained an exercise I would use to assess the risk taking tendencies of the audience. It was a sidewalk game I played as a child called Red Light Green Light. I have frequently used it with all levels of audiences to illustrate risk and tendencies and generate discussion. But I used the words "children's sidewalk game". The director of course was concerned about the activity being too childish (my words exactly - right?!). It is a fun engaging activity I use with adults - even executives - and they love it. Had I mentioned it as a risk taking model activity I am sure it would have elicited a completely different response. 

I believe if we were to become and or/remain more open to understanding, being curious, open to possibilities and appreciative instead of taken offense to everything that isn't the way we want it to be - that the world just might be a whole lot better off.

The Italian Diet

I don't try to do it on purpose, but I always seem to lose a few pounds when I go on vacation.  

I recently had the amazing opportunity to visit Italy with my sister-in-law and nieces and was surprised when I jumped on the scale the day after my return. I thought my husband played a joke on me and adjusted the scale. How could I have lost weight on a diet of Italian wine, pizza, pasta, gelato, limoncello and other various vacation delights?  Might it possibly have been the thousands of steps we took daily sightseeing or our running from one train to another with our suitcases in tow as we ventured from city to city?

I am sure the 10,000 plus steps a day had something to do with it.  But what I think it was more than anything was the way I approached the vacation. I knew that it might be a little crazy on the trip traveling to a new city every one to three days.  I kept an open mind to enjoy whatever it was we were doing and wherever it was we were going, soaking in all that Italy had to offer.  From the creamy gelato to the wonders of Michelangelo's David, I enjoyed every moment by just observing and absorbing everything around me (as well as taking a few hundred pictures!).  When we slow down like this we can enjoy what we are experiencing.  There is less stress (and less overeating).  Unlike when we are running from one activity to another. 

That is when our creativity really has time to work too - when we take some quiet time to just observe, to think or not think and let our mind wander to experience everything that is around us.  The breathing exercises in yoga assist us in developing our focus skills.  

A girlfriend recently surprised me with a lighted glitter lava lamp that I had admired on her desk.  It plugs into the USB port on your computer.  With a shake, (which is sometimes what we need to get started or to change a mood), the glitter starts to flow and the colors slowly change in the encased liquid.  I find it relaxing, beautiful as well as a great reminder to slow down and enjoy the moment - to stop and let a few creative ideas have a moment to settle into my brain.

Men Want It Too

A friend of mine is a wealthy executive. I asked him about his Valentine's Day and he said it was only ok. Apparently he had showered his girlfriend with presents but did not receive anything in return.  I commented that just because a person is a millionaire and can buy themselves anything that they want, doesn't mean they don't need a little sign of love and affection like a card. "Exactly", he replied.  

Men want it too.  

I attended the funeral of a dear work friend a few months ago.  My deceased friend had three children - two sons and a daughter.  At the wake the daughter was surrounded by family and friends. For the most part, the two sons were by themselves, greeting an occasional consoler but mostly talking to each other.  Our group looked over at them and noticed they were alone.  We each went over to talk to the guys, extending out heartfelt sympathy through words and hugs.

Men want it too.

In my yoga class the men tend to fall into the strong category and the women fall into the more flexible category.  I try not to make assumptions, even encouraging the new people to try each pose and go as far as they can into it. You never know where your strengths are and where you need work in a pose until you try.  Sometimes I am working with the men on strength and sometimes I am working with the women on flexibility.  I am holding up a man's legs so he can enjoy the freedom of a handstand or gently pressing on a lower back of a woman to move them deeper into a pose and increase their flexibility.  

Men want it too.

All Levels Welcome - One Size Fits All?

I recently returned from my annual trip to San Francisco to attend the Yoga Journal Conference.  I keep my certifications current with continuing education and this is my favorite city to travel to for that purpose.  There is always something interesting to see and do there between yoga conference sessions and in the days before and after the event. From museums, comedy clubs, hotels with incredible skyline views and Broadway shows to simple walks up and down the crookedest street in the world, trekking across the Golden Gate Bridge, sitting by the Bay and watching the fog roll in or away and ferry rides to Alcatraz Island or Sausalito.  That is just the tip of the iceberg of things to do in this magical city by the Bay.  I understand completely the song "I Left My Heart in San Francisco". Many of us that have spent any time there do.

I selected six sessions to attend over the main conference weekend.  The sessions ranged from a very easy slow yoga training that focused on breathing and heart lifting to incredible advanced and intense workshops where I sometimes simply sat on the floor and watched as others tried seemingly impossible feats.  

When I came back to teach my classes I shared the feeling I had in the more basic classes versus the advanced classes, letting them know I empathized with their feelings wherever they were in that range of too easy to whoa impossible.  I encouraged them to hang out in simple poses if that is what their body needed or to try parts of the advanced poses that worked for them. I reminded them to pay attention to their bodies and knowing their limitations, to make the class work for them.  It provided them the opportunity to be ok with stepping away from what the group was doing and do their own poses or simply enjoy what others were able to do while they rested and observed.

Information is always coming at us from many directions, each "guru" touting the new diet or the new management technique or the new way to stay organized - the way we must do things is we are to be successful. We need to remember we are individuals with different talents, skills and needs and that there isn't just one right way to approach anything. The right way is the way that works for you.  Maybe you like some of the suggestions of an expert but know that not all of their ideas are possible or practical for you to implement. Take what works for you and create your own versions of their suggestions so that one size can really fit all with a few personal adjustments.

Check out our coaching and training services and tips for creativity and risk taking!