Positively Open to Possibilities

On this International Women's Day I would like to share a short story note about a woman in my yoga class that is a model for all of us.  This woman is fairly new to yoga and seated herself in the front row of my yoga class last night. I'm not that great at guessing ages but assume she was probably a few years older than me. Before I started class she told me she was determined to be positive and was going to try everything I offered in class - even if it was hard and it scared her. To my delight - she did.

I watched her try to put her head under her leg in a lunge even though it wouldn't really go yet and said to myself - "she is really going to do what she said!" A little later I assisted her as she planted her arms into a tripod and attempted a headstand. Her feet never left the ground. With every pose she gave it her all - but a cautious all. She would try everything and step it back a notch when something felt like too much or didn't feel ok to her. But she remained positive and open.

At the end of class she was so proud of herself and I was too. There's nothing like a little risk taking to up your self esteem. She was/is the best model for being open to the possibilities I've ever come across in my yoga classes!! We can all take a lesson from her.

You Have a Choice

A new member joined my yoga class yesterday morning. As I observed her move up and down from the floor before class started, I thought she might have a little trouble keeping up with the first part of the class where we flow through a series of sun salutations. I went up to her and gave her a few tips, along a strap for stretches and a set of blocks to bring the floor closer in poses where we bend over. I let her know that she could skip any poses she didn't feel comfortable with and she could stay longer in any poses she enjoyed - ignoring any directions I gave when she wanted to. I wanted to let her know it was her class and she had a choice on what and how fast and which poses to play with. She was very appreciative.

Sometimes people come to classes and think there is only one way. They somehow believe they have to do everything they are instructed to do in exactly the way it is presented and don't have choices on modifying or deciding not to do parts of it. I remind members that it is like an all you can eat buffet - and they don't have to eat everything!

Remember when approaching any situation that you always have a choice. There is always more than one way to proceed. Don't get locked into the one way or the only way. Play with alternatives, modify what you need to make things work for you.

It's not the only job in the world, they're not the only potential partner for you, things won't always be like this, there is more than one response or outcome to the event, you have control over your responses,...

Life is full of choices - stay open to possibilities and enjoy your freedom to choose.

The Better to See You My Dear!

I was leaving the gym with a few members from my yoga class this morning and noticed as we passed the front desk that there was a new employee greeting members. I already had my sunglasses on, as it was bright outside and I wouldn't be able to put them on while walking with all of the yoga toys in my arms. I tipped my sunglasses up so I could see the woman, set down some of my yoga bags and reached out my hand to greet her. I gave my name and told her the classes I taught, then she shared her name with a great big smile and we headed out the door.

"I like that", said one of the women from class walking with me. "Liked what?" I asked. She replied that she liked how I tilted my sunglasses so the woman could see my eyes. I hadn't even realized I had done it. It just seemed natural so that I could see her eyes and she could see mine when I greeted her. I felt good I had unconsciously done something nice and someone noticed.

But it did even more for me. I will now pay even more attention every time I meet someone - to make sure I am connecting with their eyes and their heart. I will not walk by the front desk if there is a new person there I haven't met without introducing myself - though I usually already do. I will not miss out on the opportunity to get the valet's name or check the server's name tag even though I already usually do.

I am grateful that this woman shared what she noticed about me - so that I could be even more conscious going forward.

It also had me reflecting on the yoga class I just taught. I frequently walk about the room adjusting people so that they can enjoy a pose more. I also try to acknowledge people when they are doing things right. But the woman noticing my sunglass flip has me wanting more. I want to do more acknowledging the good in people so that they are inspired - as I was today - to do more.

You never know how a simple little comment will positively affect someone - much more than you ever imagined.

I encourage you to increase your awareness of people and surroundings - and share your positive thoughts. The energy lift on that person and subsequently the world will be very impactful!

Through the School Zone

Have you ever been driving in a school zone and had to stop at a traffic light halfway through? It is not surprising to see when the light turns green that many of the drivers will take off and ramp up quickly to the posted speed limit while only a few people will remember they are still in a school zone and keep driving slowly. They were in the "school zone" but when they were stopped by the light they went into another thinking "zone" and left the school zone far behind in their minds.

The breathing exercises typically conducted at the beginning of a yoga class assist us in developing our focus, concentration and awareness. We focus on our breath and work to slow and deepen it. We focus on the sound of it and sometimes count silently in our head to aid in concentration.

Take the opportunity to develop your awareness the next time you are stopped at a traffic light.  Are you in a school zone? What buildings are around you? Are there pedestrians or bikes near the intersection? What kinds of cars are at the light also?

Taking short moments to focus on our surroundings develops a keen sense of awareness for all situations.

You Don't Look Like An Engineer

I've heard it a million times - "You Don't Look Like An Engineer". 

I was reminded of the assumptions that I and others have made when I read the recent article in the paper about the airline incident with a passenger in distress . The flight attendant didn't believe the female ob/gyn was a doctor and wouldn't allow her to help. 

Here are some bias examples in my own life that came to mind as a result - 

I am thrilled when new people try my yoga class and even more excited when I see them return. I try to tell everyone to stay open to the poses and do the best they can with each one, modifying it to fit their needs. It seems like the men are usually the stronger ones and the women are usually the ones with more flexibility - but it isn't always true. I try to stay open to the possibilities and work with clients equally on everything. Many people assume that because they aren't flexible they can't do yoga so they don't come to class. I let them know that is why they should come - and they actually give it a try.

Many years ago when I was a supervising engineer, one of my employees (a male) invited me to an awards banquet for the American Institute of Chemical Engineers (AIChE). My husband was also invited to attend with me. When my employee told a board member he wanted to introduce her to his boss, the board member reached out a hand to shake my husband's. She was surprised to find out I was actually the boss.

When we were examining software programs for our engineering department, we invited sales representatives to present their program solutions to us. I recall one salesman speaking with my employee (a male) and me in a small conference room. The entire time he was focused on the employee and rarely turned his head in my direction. When he finished his presentation he asked my employee if he had any questions or could provide any other information to help with our decision. My employee said, his boss would have to answer that and turned toward me. That salesperson was quite surprised to realize he had assumed the man was the boss. (We just gave our names when we were introduced - not our positions).

It happens all the time - in so many circumstances. We are all guilty of making assumptions and acting on them. The more we experience diversity the less unusual it will be and the more open to possibilities we will become. I believe it will continue to improve with time. 

What's your assumption story?

Keep your eyes open for my new book next year - "You Don't Look Like an Engineer - Busting Assumptions that Hold Us Back".

Never Give Up

Never Give Up! 

I was watching an NFL game today and as the offensive player was ten yards away from running into the end zone the defensive players started slowing down and stopped their chase, as if it was all over. Just yesterday I watched a college football game where the defensive player never gave up and actually caught the offensive player and knocked the ball out of his hands from behind. Never Give Up!

A few days ago I saw a woman with a reusable grocery bag with "Never Ever Ever Ever Give Up!' written on it.

One of the readings in church today was about Persistence. Never Give Up!

I have some new people in my yoga class and one of them came up to me after class and told me she was a beginner and couldn't do everything but she was going to keep coming to class and keep trying until she could! Never Give Up!

It is clear the message is coming at me from all angles and now I am sharing it with you - "Never Give Up!

Sometimes the Rules Are Meant to be Broken!

There are so many types of yoga - from powerful Ashtanga series and Bikram yoga with precise positions in a precise order with precise timing to other styles with more freedom in the poses. I teach "Nutmeg" yoga. My nickname is Nutmeg (Meg for Margaret, Nut for the good crazy!). I've trained and been exposed to a number of styles and teach a freestyle with technique combined kind of class - therefore Nutmeg yoga. If you ever take training from different yogis, most believe their style and their way of executing a pose is the right way - but I believe they are all right. You don't have to follow all of the "rules" to have a successful practice.

There are other places I believe rules could be broken or bent a little. For example, at the grocery store today. I was behind a friendly woman in the express check-out lane. She admired the roses I carried in my arms and delightedly I let her know they were only $8 a dozen (20% off any size bouquet).  She asked the cashier if she would ring her up a dozen and she would run back and get them. The cashier told her she couldn't. The disappointed woman exclaimed, "I guess it wasn't meant to be". I asked the cashier why she couldn't have rung up the flowers for the woman using her scanner on one of my bunches. She went into an explanation on inventory and what if the woman didn't get the exact same kind and then they would order more of the wrong one and ... I'm thinking - you missed out on making one woman's day and a sale - because of a silly rule. Sometimes the Rules Are Meant to be Broken!