Try It! - You'll Like Mine

My husband plays poker once a month with buddies from work.  I think it is great for guys to get together and when they do - the girls get together too.  This time he was hosting it at our house and it is customary for the host to feed the crowd.  Now, my husband is a great cook and I don't even bother to cook very much any more because everything he makes is so good.  But there are a few things that I make that he just cannot compete with me on - or doesn't dare try.  I cannot share my recipes with him because if I did, he wouldn't need me for anything anymore.  He asked if I would be able to make lasagna for the guys and I agreed.  After all - he is always treating me with delicious meals off the smoker/grill and the fluffiest omelets ever every Sunday.  It was the least I could do. 

Lasagna is a process.  It is best done with a glass (bottle?) of wine in one hand and a giant spoon in the other.  I enjoy making it but it can take a half of a day the way I perform this operation.  With each new batch, I buy more ingredients than I did the last time and definitely more than I need.  I end up making more lasagna than a family could possibly eat in a week.  I figure if I am going to do it and make a mess of the kitchen, then I am really going to do it up right.  This time it was six pans.  So I shared some with friends and neighbors. 

I have a girlfriend that has never liked lasagna. There is something in it that is common in lasagna recipes and it doesn't taste good to her.  She tried mine one day and couldn't believe that she liked it.  Now I always make sure she gets a pot of it when I make it.  I offered some to another friend from this batch and she readily accepted it saying she doesn't care for it but her family would love it.  I suggested she try it, telling her I have a few friends like her and I would bet that she ends up liking mine. And she did!  Now, I can't tell you what the secret is, no one would need me anymore - so I will carry that with me until I die.  (Or drink enough wine some night that you coax it out of me!).

So, we may all be making or doing pretty much the same thing but it is going to turn out a little different because we can't help but influence the outcome with a little bit of our style.

I teach yoga at the gym.  I have many people that love my class and some that prefer a little different style, though they still join me for class and modify to suit their needs. I encourage them to also try some of the other instructors until they find a yoga that really resonates with them.  It can be such a wonderful experience for us in many ways - mind, body and soul - and can only benefit those that practice it.

But if you've never tried it - try mine - you'll like it!

Silence Means You Agree

As I started my introduction to the yoga class, I mentioned today was going to be handstand and headstand day with a number of animal poses involving lifting our feet off the ground.  The room was silent. I could imagine what was going on in their heads.  "Is she really serious?", "what have I gotten myself into today?", "that sounds like fun!". Probably more of the former and less of the latter inner chatter.

As I started my cycle class I mentioned that we were going to start on a fifteen minute hill climb and then alternate every other flat ride song as a race paced top heart rate zone rush.  Again, the room was silent. Again, I could imagine what was going on in their heads. "Is she really serious?", "what have I gotten myself into today?", "that sounds like fun!". Again, probably more of the former and less of the latter inner chatter. 

Was I serious? - yes very much so in both classes.  And it turns out, they really had a good time in both instances.  But I do playfully warn them if they don't speak up I am assuming they are thrilled with the plan.  And they usually don't speak up. And I usually go ahead with my plan - devious as it can be. 

I found this to be true in many instances outside of the fitness world.  At work in the corporate environment there were numerous occasions in which I wasn't totally in agreement with the plan to move ahead but I also wasn't totally comfortable speaking up.  They certainly weren't life or death situations and no lives or equipment were on the line. I would certainly speak up then. But I quickly found out if you didn't speak up when the issue was addressed, they assumed agreement and moved forward.  Chalk it off to youth or naïveté, it is a lesson worth learning and worth learning quickly. 

When did you wish you had spoken up instead of letting silence mean you agreed?  I look forward to your stories.

Breathe - Just Breathe

A group of friends signed up for a 5 K race called the Neon Splash Dash.  All of the proceeds from the race were for a charitable organization called Red, White and Blue that assists veterans and their families - a great cause. The race started at 8:00 pm. Now that is my kind of race.  Seven or eight o'clock in the morning always seemed like such a painful time to wake up and run around like crazy for a night owl.  Finally, sensible race organizers, starting a race at a time that matches my energy level - when I am fully awake and engaged in the day and ready to roll. 

The race organizers encouraged white t-shirts so that the neon paint that would be sprayed on us during the race would show up under the black lights the best.  Costumes were also encouraged with tutus being the design of choice but my group opted out of the contest this time. I am sure I can motivate some of them to partake next year - hehe - always an optimist.  I planned to run the entire race, after all, 5 K doesn't seem that far.  The others already knew that walking was their preferred method of making it across the finish line.  The race was packed with close to 10,000 runners decorated with all varieties of neon and flashing and glow in the dark gadgets.  It was cool - very cool.  It took some time for the waves of runners/walkers to move forward so that we finally reached the starting line. Then - we were off! 

I started off at a slow shuffle as hundreds of us made it up the hill and across the bridge. It finally thinned out enough so that I was able to start a nice run dodging back and forth between walkers.  I found a clear spot and reached a rhythmic pace with what I thought were good breathing techniques.  About ten minutes later I had to slow down to ease a mild pain in my side - most likely from not breathing correctly. Had it really been that long since I had raced that I forgot how to breathe?  Yes.  I focused on correcting my breath work and picked up the pace again.  Just about to cross the finish line, I stopped and walked over to the side to keep an eye out for my walking friends so that we could cross the finish line together.  A group of familiar faces splattered with paint strolled by a while later and I joined them for the final steps across the finish line with smiles on all our faces.

It doesn't matter how good your run, walk, arm swinging or shuffle looks - it's the breath underneath it all that makes it successful.

In yoga I am always reminding the students to breathe. "It doesn't matter what your pose looks like - if you are breathing you are still doing yoga. If the breath isn't right - the pose won't be."

Whether you are about to stand up and speak to a crowd - or have a difficult conversation with someone - use your breath to relax and get in the right frame of mind - and the rest will be easy. 

Touch Everyone

I was standing in line at the bank and the man in front of me in line was on his cell phone.  When the teller called him up to her window he remained on the phone and gently shoved his paperwork to her - not stopping to acknowledge her or have any conversation.  She methodically took care of his banking business and gently moved the papers and some money back toward him.  He grabbed his belongings and headed out the door.  During my turn, the teller and I had a polite conversation about people and their rudeness, she took care of my banking business and I was on my way.  I needed to stop at the grocery store behind the bank and left my car at the bank and walked over to the store.  I was surprised to see the man from the bank walking to the store in front of me - but not surprised to see that his cell phone was still attached to his ear.  I was pretty sure the cashier in the grocery store was going to receive the same treatment from him that the bank teller had experienced.  I honestly don't think he realized what he was doing and if he did - would he even care?  I like to think so.
 
I have noticed this doing business at a number of places.  On another day at the local department store I watched as the cashier rang up a customer's merchandise and the customer remained on her cell phone the entire time.  When it was my turn, I asked the cashier if it bothered him.  "Oh", he replied "it happens all the time, I've gotten used to it". To me, it is so sad that this is something we have gotten used to.  It is easy to change.  We get what we allow.  

I am amazed at the stories and issues in the Dear Abby column of what frantic or frustrated people write in to for help.  Abby frequently responds with, "it will stop when you stop allowing it".
 
I think it is important to acknowledge everyone in my yoga classes.  Whether it is with a smile or a nod or a touch to adjust their pose, or calling out their name - I like to let everyone know I see them and know they are there. I notice when they are missing as many have their favorite spot and you can see when it is empty.  I know that I can do better with this and as I write I am committing to this challenge.  I don't want people to feel like I missed that they were there or was so busy with other people that I didn't take the time to acknowledge their presence.

There is all this buzz about the present moment and being present in the moment and I agree with it totally.  But I would like to add an addendum - acknowledge the presence of those being present in the moment with you - be it with a smile, a nod, a conversation or a touch.

Bored With Yourself?

Note - If you are a follower of my Creativity and Risk Taking blog - http://igniteyourideas.blogspot.com/ - this first paragraph will sound familiar - but the story will end up in a different place so I invite you to reread it.

I attended an afternoon workshop on defining and working with all the resources available to you to move your personal development or your business forward. It was an interesting look at all we have around us that we typically forget or pass over as we rush through our week. We were asked to make a list of 100 resources that we have and were given a few minutes to complete the task. Pens and fingers on tablets moved furiously down the page listing person after person and item after item. Most people had 30 or more resources listed in a very short time. We shared part of our list with the group and the ideas from others in the room inspired us to add to our lists. One that I mentioned was clutter. We think of it as junk but if we were to go through many of the boxes stuffed in our attic or under a bed - we might find treasures that could be used in our work or in some other way we hadn't previously considered. A teacher friend of mine planned to have her students help her sort through some boxes of supplies she had accumulated over the years. She knew that they would be able to come up with numerous ideas on how the "stuff" could be used in alternative ways. Those little ones were creative problem solvers.

The speaker came highly recommended and I was initially enjoying his talk but my interest started to wane as he continued.  The resource list was a great reminder of all the treasures we have in people and "stuff" and how we could more effectively and creatively utilize those resources.  I was planning how I would add to the list every day and play with my resources in new ways to help myself and those I come in contact with.  But then a feeling started to emerge - like the speaker had given this talk before and he was starting to run on autopilot. He gave us an exercise and then proceeded to get lost in his laptop on some project.  He finished early and I found myself wishing he had given us more information and skipped the last exercise.

I have had yoga class attendees comment that they loved my class because it was always something new and they never got bored.  I was surprised because most of class is usually a repeat of the warm-ups and many poses you do every time. But I do try to give it a little twist every time with a different focus.  I go back through notes from a conference or look up something in a book or on the Internet that might help members deepen their practice.  No matter how I feel, I leave energized and renewed when class is over, inspired by the different energy participants bring each time.  

In my business presentations or classes I try to approach the session with a renewed enthusiam even though I may have presented the same topic numerous times before.  It is a new group and a new day and I try to play in a new way.

How are you approaching your day, your job, your family, your activities? Like you are bored and have done this 100 times and "here you to go again"? 

I invite you to consider how you could make the old "new"?  What small change in your attitude or how you look at something or someone could bring joy back to your life? 

Try it - I think you will like the results!

A Person's Name is Important

I attended a women's business lunch the other day and struck up a conversation with a very tall, impressive and fun woman at my table.  I loved everything about her, especially her very red jacket and the fact that as a tall woman she still wore high heels.  When I was young I used to wear flat shoes to keep myself from towering over all the boys.  No more.  After the meeting was over and the crowd headed to the hotel doors to retrieve their cars we ran into each other at the valet line.  She was behind me in line.  We were talking while she paid her ticket.  When she received her receipt, she thanked the valet and called him by his name.  She gained even more respect in my eyes in that short moment. 

I wrote an e-mail to her later that day - and I said -
"You know what I really like about you? – that as busy as it was outside at the valet stand you addressed the guy taking our tickets by his name – “Tony”.  I usually do that – but was distracted by our conversation and activity around us. Thank you so much for that reminder.  I always found out the names of the maids in our office building when I worked in “corporate America” – God knows I saw them often enough when I stayed late J. My father was a strong advocate of the “little man” - the one behind the scenes who doesn't always get all the attention but who without them, nothing would run smoothly. Though I was too young, my sister remembers him sending a check to the family of the police officer (J.D.Tippit – Dallas police officer) who was killed when Kennedy was shot (and with a family of eight kids – you know there wasn’t much extra money laying around to do that kind of thing) because everyone was giving their attention to the Kennedy’s and no one was really thinking about that police officer’s family (at least publicly).  I loved that about my dad."

In yoga class I try to remember people's names and ask them - sometimes more than once or twice.  If I see them often it is easier for me to remember them, but it usually comes back to me no matter how long it has been since I last saw them. I love how they don't mind me asking again and again - until I get it right. I admit having called a few people by the wrong name for months until some light conversation eventually gets me corrected. 

Remember to get their name - it's important - and then - remember their name - it's priceless.

Pick a Pose

When we start off fresh for the new year, many people make new year's resolutions.  Their hearts and will power are in it and they make a list of all the things they are going to do differently this year.  After all, the year is new and everything is possible.  But as January ends and February begins, many of those resolutions fall by the wayside.  Every year the process is repeated.  Hopes and dreams and diets and skinny jeans lay on the floor in a rumpled mess. I believe a few subtle changes might make the outcome entirely different.  One change would be to find a resolution buddy - be it a friend, a co-worker, or a coach.  This person will be your someone to support you when the going gets rough and to be accountable to.  And don't let them go as soon as you meet your goals or your new habits are in place.  Keep them close at hand to keep you on track for the future as there is no going back to the old way of doing things. The second change would be to pick just one thing to focus on and do that really really well. Your other wants and wishes and desires may get done in the process, but the one thing you focus on will surely make progress.  What would you pick from your list?

In a recent yoga class I encouraged the group to pick just one yoga pose to focus on for that day or the next few weeks. I encouraged them to pay attention to where they were in that pose today.  Then as the weeks unfold, note how much better they are getting in the pose.  The changes in yoga can be very quick in a short period of time.  It is a good idea to start with a benchmark so that you can be reminded and inspired by your progress.

Pick a pose - see how your ability grows.