Men Want It Too

A friend of mine is a wealthy executive. I asked him about his Valentine's Day and he said it was only ok. Apparently he had showered his girlfriend with presents but did not receive anything in return.  I commented that just because a person is a millionaire and can buy themselves anything that they want, doesn't mean they don't need a little sign of love and affection like a card. "Exactly", he replied.  

Men want it too.  

I attended the funeral of a dear work friend a few months ago.  My deceased friend had three children - two sons and a daughter.  At the wake the daughter was surrounded by family and friends. For the most part, the two sons were by themselves, greeting an occasional consoler but mostly talking to each other.  Our group looked over at them and noticed they were alone.  We each went over to talk to the guys, extending out heartfelt sympathy through words and hugs.

Men want it too.

In my yoga class the men tend to fall into the strong category and the women fall into the more flexible category.  I try not to make assumptions, even encouraging the new people to try each pose and go as far as they can into it. You never know where your strengths are and where you need work in a pose until you try.  Sometimes I am working with the men on strength and sometimes I am working with the women on flexibility.  I am holding up a man's legs so he can enjoy the freedom of a handstand or gently pressing on a lower back of a woman to move them deeper into a pose and increase their flexibility.  

Men want it too.

All Levels Welcome - One Size Fits All?

I recently returned from my annual trip to San Francisco to attend the Yoga Journal Conference.  I keep my certifications current with continuing education and this is my favorite city to travel to for that purpose.  There is always something interesting to see and do there between yoga conference sessions and in the days before and after the event. From museums, comedy clubs, hotels with incredible skyline views and Broadway shows to simple walks up and down the crookedest street in the world, trekking across the Golden Gate Bridge, sitting by the Bay and watching the fog roll in or away and ferry rides to Alcatraz Island or Sausalito.  That is just the tip of the iceberg of things to do in this magical city by the Bay.  I understand completely the song "I Left My Heart in San Francisco". Many of us that have spent any time there do.

I selected six sessions to attend over the main conference weekend.  The sessions ranged from a very easy slow yoga training that focused on breathing and heart lifting to incredible advanced and intense workshops where I sometimes simply sat on the floor and watched as others tried seemingly impossible feats.  

When I came back to teach my classes I shared the feeling I had in the more basic classes versus the advanced classes, letting them know I empathized with their feelings wherever they were in that range of too easy to whoa impossible.  I encouraged them to hang out in simple poses if that is what their body needed or to try parts of the advanced poses that worked for them. I reminded them to pay attention to their bodies and knowing their limitations, to make the class work for them.  It provided them the opportunity to be ok with stepping away from what the group was doing and do their own poses or simply enjoy what others were able to do while they rested and observed.

Information is always coming at us from many directions, each "guru" touting the new diet or the new management technique or the new way to stay organized - the way we must do things is we are to be successful. We need to remember we are individuals with different talents, skills and needs and that there isn't just one right way to approach anything. The right way is the way that works for you.  Maybe you like some of the suggestions of an expert but know that not all of their ideas are possible or practical for you to implement. Take what works for you and create your own versions of their suggestions so that one size can really fit all with a few personal adjustments.

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An Unusual Turn

I don't really know what possessed me to turn right at that moment.  I was driving home from an appointment and in a split second I decided to stop.  It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  And it turned out to be the perfect thing for me.    

I don't believe it is something people typically do, not at all.  Especially if they don't know anyone there.  And I certainly didn't, but I stopped anyway.

I noticed it first when I was driving home from an appointment the night before, about dusk. I thought what a spooky place that would be at midnight - or exciting!  I tried to think back into my past, looking for any glimpse of a night when I might have ventured into one before.  I am sure with a group of friends I would have had the courage to do it.  But in the bright of day it didn't take any courage, just a strange curiosity.  

Why did I suddenly decide to come here for a visit?  I was driving the same route I had the night before, returning home from another appointment.  But it looked so much more inviting and less frightening in the brightness of the mid day sun.  

I think I stopped simply because it looked so beautiful and peaceful.  

I was headed back home without much thought to what I was passing as I drove through the countryside. Then I noticed I was there again, the same spot as the night before. This time it called out to me.  "You have time, come and hang out with me for a while."

I turned slowly onto the path between the gates.  There wasn't anyone else there, in the cemetery.  I stopped the car about ten yards down the road and just looked around.  Not a cloud in the sky on a seriously chilly day for South Texas.  There were flowers placed lovingly at many of the headstones - fake ones I am sure.  That is all that would survive in this cold.  Beautiful slim pines swayed a bit in the breeze. 

I just sat there and looked about the acres of green, and headstones, and flowers and trees. It's one of those things that I am reminded of every time I teach my yoga class.  Be present. Just be.  

After a little while, I decided to brave the cold and go for a walk.

I slowly walked between the headstones being careful not to step on any grave.  Many stories were told without a word being said.  I saw birth dates that went back into the mid 1800's, and more recent ones where the spouse had passed away but one still lived on. I imagined the lives of those that had gone before, and what life was like for those left behind. It brought up many beautiful stories of my own of friends and family that had passed away.

It was a wonderfully peaceful road side stop on a chilly clear blue sky day.   

I smiled as I headed back to the car.

I am so glad I turned right. It was the right turn.

Automatic

I am a rock n' roll girl from Detroit but I must admit that I have developed an affection for country music after living here in Texas for more than half my life. One of my latest favorites is a song called "Automatic" by Miranda Lambert. She reminisces about how simple things were before everything became automatic: drying clothes outside on the line, a quarter in a payphone, and recording music from the radio on a tape cassette.

I was teaching a weight lifting class for another instructor a few weeks ago. As I instructed the class members on each exercise I reminded them to think about what they were doing, how each exercise felt and what muscles were supposed to be engaged. We do things so automatically in class (and all day).  It is time for squats so we pick up the same amount of weight we always do and put it on our bar. When it comes to the bicep curls we follow along without thinking about the muscles we are working and whether we are swinging our weights or really focusing on the movement.  I wanted them to feel a good soreness in every part of their body the next day because they paid attention to what they were doing.  

The same thing is true for yoga.  They know the warm-up and the what triangle poses are and what to do and they flow into them without thinking.  If we pay more attention, breathe deeply and really focus on what we are feeling we will get a better workout and a deeper experience on many levels.  

How are you going through your day?  Are you on auto pilot or really focused and paying attention to enjoy every moment and see opportunity where you just followed along before.  

Try it for a day and let me know how it goes. Turn off the autopilot.  

Move On Up - To The Front Row

I find it interesting to observe where people place themselves in a room. 

When I am teaching yoga some new people come right up to the front so that they can see and learn the right way to perform the poses.  Others that want to hang back and relax and participate at a different level may set their mat down in the back row or back corner. Occasionally they get a little surprise when I move to the side or back of the room to lead the class through a few poses and all of the sudden they are the front row now.  

In cycle class those that really want to focus and work the hardest tend to resonate to the front of the room.  In the front they can observe their form in the front mirrors and make corrections.  I sometimes wish I could automatically turn all of the bikes in cycle as easily as I can rotate my yoga class, (by having them turn on their mats), so that the back row would become the front row. It all makes for interesting dynamics.

I was presenting to a group of technical professionals on perceptions and assumptions in a business setting.  I was part of a half day long combined trainings plus meetings for a group that was only together once a quarter.   The finance group was presenting after my talk.  After I finished, I grabbed my lunch and stayed for part of their presentation before I headed out, on to my next adventure. While I was eating my lunch I observed that there were a few technical females in the room but they were seated in the last rows in the back.  The finance group that was presenting also had representation but they were also seated at the back of the room around a round table.  I noticed that several of them were texting or checking e-mails on their phone while their co-worker was presenting. 

There are a number of reasons people take a back seat at meetings. Some don't want to be called on.  Some may not think they have anything to contribute.  Others may have work that needs to be done and they don't want to disturb others in the room while they toggle back and forth between listening to the speaker and answering e-mails on their laptop or their device. But the truth is - they aren't totally "there".  We are most effective when we are totally present with whomever and whatever we are involved in.

What do you need to do to be more present and effective in your personal and professional life?

The Dentist Can Tell

I love to go to the dentist. That is not something you usually hear people say.  But I really do. I love the feeling of clean teeth after my appointment and don't really want to eat anything for a while to savor the fresh clean feeling.  But I eventually get hungry and give in.  My dentist's office is like a spa: with low lights, water fountains trickling, beautiful carefully lighted artwork and spacious treatment rooms.  It actually is a spa.  Her husband is a massage therapist and treatments are available to relieve stress from coming to the dentist or life in general.

The hygienist notices everything and made a comment recently that the left side of my mouth looked like I was doing a better job of brushing it.  I told her that made sense since I was right handed.  So, now I try to brush with my left hand half the time to even things out. It feels awkward but I know it is all for the best.  We will see if it is working next time I have my check-up.

In yoga I jokingly tell the class they need to even out their bodies or when they get older they will walk funny and I demonstrate. I also tell them if they leave class early and don't do the same poses on the other leg they will walk funny for the rest of the night. It always solicits a laugh and they stay.

This can be carried over into many areas of our lives. We tend to do the same things and stay with the same routines and get caught in ruts not realizing how "uneven" we are making our lives.  Try to do things a little differently - not only to stay balanced and even but to stay interested and excited about your day and your life.

Your yoga instructor can tell too. 

Just Take a Step

I attend a yoga conference in one of the most beautiful and interesting cities in the world every January. This year was no different. I was able to spend a week in San Francisco - the city by the bay.  The weather was so beautiful, unusually warm for January (i.e. it was 70 degrees some days), and though I've been there so many times before there were always things and places to discover that were new for me. 

The weekend conference is split up into six sessions.  For one of my sessions I selected an acro yoga workshop.  Acro as in acrobatic - where one person is on the bottom as the base and the second person is on top as the flyer - with the feet or the hands of the base supporting the flyer at the hips, hands, back or feet.  We started the workshop walking around the room weaving in and out of other people.  Eventually we were asked to select a partner and stand face to face with our arms up and hands pressed together.  We closed our eyes and were told to have one partner push into the other person's hands.  The reactions were very interesting.

Some people pushed back with as much force as the pusher, trying not to get knocked over. Others simply took a step back or to the side when the force became too much.

So what do you do when the "pressure" gets to be too much?  Do you fight back with all your might?  Do you stop and realize that sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back, to the side or out of the way in some way?  Sometimes the best reaction is not a reaction at all - but merely a reflection.